My son is crying his eyes out right now. He's woken up atleast 3 times in the last 3 hours and I don't know what else to do. I've nursed him each time and he seems to go back to sleep but then he wakes up again 30 mins later. This goes on every single night. I know it's my own damn fault for nursing him back to sleep each time, but I am sick and tired of it. I've had enough!
So I'm letting him cry it out. I know it's against my beliefs of Attachment Parenting but I'm just really tired. I've been so sleep-deprived these past 7 months, especially these past few weeks. I get about 1-2 hrs straight and then he wakes up again. I'm too tired to deal with it in the middle of the night so to make things easier on myself, I just nurse him back to sleep. All the while, my husband is lying there...not even aware that we've been in and out of sleep numerous times. I've tried reading books and talking to other moms to comfort me, because God knows I need all the support I can get right now. But it's different when you're actually experiencing it. All the books and all the things my friends say can't comfort me. I am just at a loss right now...how the hell can I get my baby to sleep and to stay asleep???
So yeah, he sleeps with us in the bed, so that doesn't make things easier. But I can't see myself putting him in a crib. Connor's always hated the crib, the cradle, the bassinet, the swing...he'd rather be right next to me or in my arms. I mean, I would prefer that too if I was a baby. Now that he's 7 months...is it a bit late to change things up?
I guess I should've listened to my husband from the very beginning. He wanted to do things differently. He thinks my way is "overbearing" and I think his is "neglectful"...so whose right? We rarely fight but when we do, it's always about this shit. When we talked about parenting before having the baby, we agreed on a lot of the main topics. But noone or nothing prepared us for this. Who knew we were gonna have a "high need" baby? Damn, he's still crying and it's been an hour already. I am gonna keep sitting here until he stops 'cause I'm afraid I'm gonna flip out right now. I laid down with him for half an hour and he just kept on crying. I know he wants the boob, but he ain't gonna get it. I am pooped.
I don't have the energy nor the patience to sit there and listen to him cry. My ears are ringing and my eyes are sore. I know it'd make life a lot easier right now if I just went in and breastfed, but NO. I am going to be strong. If my husband saw me right now, I think he'd give me a big hug and smile to himself thinking, "Aww, she's getting to be a big girl now." And if he did, I'd probably smack him right now. LOL
Oh well, I guess I should go in and check on him. Maybe my ever loving presence will quiet him?? haha, I can only wish...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
7 months and counting...
Wow, two more days and Connor will be 7 months old. I can't believe it!!! He's growing up so fast!
He's definitely wanting to act like a grownup. He's always wanting to get up and walk around (with our help ofcourse). He's always pulling up or climbing on us. It's kinda funny because he's so ambitious. Once he gets up on both his feet while holding on to our hands, he lets go of one hand and just stands there with the biggest smile ever. He's definitely working on his balance and is getting better at it each day. He even manages to take a few steps this way and then falls on his butt. He used to get so scared when he landed on his butt but I think he's getting used to it now.
He doesn't like it on his tummy as much, but he's starting to get the hang of it. He lifts up his chest and holds his butt up, then tries to get on his knees. When he does accomplish the all-fours stance, he starts rocking back and forth. But then he gets really frustrated and starts whining like a little baby...LOL
He has also learned to scoot with his butt. When he's reaching for something while sitting down, he lunges forward with all his wee might and then he just kinda inches forward...closer and closer until he reaches his goal. It's really neat to watch. We can see his brain working and he's very intent. He focuses on everything so well, then kinda snaps out of his focus once he sees us watching him.
Oh yeah, when he climbs on me...it is so darling! He turns to me and gives me a hug. He loves to cuddle and just loves being close to us, especially to me. He is definitely VERY attached to me. I guess this is expected since I'm with him 24/7!
He's still very interested in nature. He loves plants, trees, animals, being outside...I took him to the zoo the other day and he was so mesmerized with the tigers. And lucky us, the damn tigers sprayed VERY closely to us. That was our cue to leave...heh heh
Then I took him for a 3 mile walk in his jogger stroller around the lake. He loved it so much, he was asleep for most of it!!! It was such a lovely day. I'm glad the nice days are back, but I miss the rain. We need it!!
Well, Jeramy's at work and it's 2 AM. I wish I could sleep but I've tried and I just can't. I'm so used to hanging out with him until the wee hours of the night, so now my whole clock is set to his schedule. But then again, I've always been an insomniac. I just feel the tiredness more now than I did when I was younger. I can still function though and that's all that matters.
Connor has been in bed since 10:30 and he's only woken up once, so that's pretty good. I love watching him when he sleeps. He's sooooooooo adorable, especially when he smiles in his sleep. I think my mom said that babies smile in their sleep when they're full, or something like that. Whatever the reason is, I think it's so damn cute when it happens!!
Oh yeah, we have our webcam set up now so people can watch us over the internet. When I say people, I mean people who KNOW us. We gave both my mom and my sister (the mom of my nephew DJ) webcams for Xmas, since we all live so far from each other. Now we just talk to each other online and view each other's webcams. It's pretty neat. My parents LOVE it and Connor really enjoys interacting with the monitor. :) I think it's so hilarious when my parents act all silly on the webcam. My mom starts singing nursery rhymes to Connor and since the broadcast is a bit slow, Connor is just trying to figure out what the heck is going on. But I can tell that he's into it, 'cause he'll sit in front of the camera and try to be cute for them. Not that he needs to try! heh heh
Well, our 1st wedding anniversary is coming up and I need to start shopping online for Jeramy's gifts. I don't know what to get him!!! I mean I do...but I don't know which styles and such. Ok, I'm gonna go shop now. CIAO!
He's definitely wanting to act like a grownup. He's always wanting to get up and walk around (with our help ofcourse). He's always pulling up or climbing on us. It's kinda funny because he's so ambitious. Once he gets up on both his feet while holding on to our hands, he lets go of one hand and just stands there with the biggest smile ever. He's definitely working on his balance and is getting better at it each day. He even manages to take a few steps this way and then falls on his butt. He used to get so scared when he landed on his butt but I think he's getting used to it now.
He doesn't like it on his tummy as much, but he's starting to get the hang of it. He lifts up his chest and holds his butt up, then tries to get on his knees. When he does accomplish the all-fours stance, he starts rocking back and forth. But then he gets really frustrated and starts whining like a little baby...LOL
He has also learned to scoot with his butt. When he's reaching for something while sitting down, he lunges forward with all his wee might and then he just kinda inches forward...closer and closer until he reaches his goal. It's really neat to watch. We can see his brain working and he's very intent. He focuses on everything so well, then kinda snaps out of his focus once he sees us watching him.
Oh yeah, when he climbs on me...it is so darling! He turns to me and gives me a hug. He loves to cuddle and just loves being close to us, especially to me. He is definitely VERY attached to me. I guess this is expected since I'm with him 24/7!
He's still very interested in nature. He loves plants, trees, animals, being outside...I took him to the zoo the other day and he was so mesmerized with the tigers. And lucky us, the damn tigers sprayed VERY closely to us. That was our cue to leave...heh heh
Then I took him for a 3 mile walk in his jogger stroller around the lake. He loved it so much, he was asleep for most of it!!! It was such a lovely day. I'm glad the nice days are back, but I miss the rain. We need it!!
Well, Jeramy's at work and it's 2 AM. I wish I could sleep but I've tried and I just can't. I'm so used to hanging out with him until the wee hours of the night, so now my whole clock is set to his schedule. But then again, I've always been an insomniac. I just feel the tiredness more now than I did when I was younger. I can still function though and that's all that matters.
Connor has been in bed since 10:30 and he's only woken up once, so that's pretty good. I love watching him when he sleeps. He's sooooooooo adorable, especially when he smiles in his sleep. I think my mom said that babies smile in their sleep when they're full, or something like that. Whatever the reason is, I think it's so damn cute when it happens!!
Oh yeah, we have our webcam set up now so people can watch us over the internet. When I say people, I mean people who KNOW us. We gave both my mom and my sister (the mom of my nephew DJ) webcams for Xmas, since we all live so far from each other. Now we just talk to each other online and view each other's webcams. It's pretty neat. My parents LOVE it and Connor really enjoys interacting with the monitor. :) I think it's so hilarious when my parents act all silly on the webcam. My mom starts singing nursery rhymes to Connor and since the broadcast is a bit slow, Connor is just trying to figure out what the heck is going on. But I can tell that he's into it, 'cause he'll sit in front of the camera and try to be cute for them. Not that he needs to try! heh heh
Well, our 1st wedding anniversary is coming up and I need to start shopping online for Jeramy's gifts. I don't know what to get him!!! I mean I do...but I don't know which styles and such. Ok, I'm gonna go shop now. CIAO!
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Update on the fam this January...
Well, let's see...it's been awhile since I've written in this thing!!!
Here is a list of NEW things Connor has done in January:
- started "rocking" while sitting down
- went to his 1st storytime at the Library...and he LOVED it!
- had his 1st cracker (well, it's called a Wagon Wheel)
- he's scooting backwards (or in circles) when he's on his tummy
- has tried the following foods: squash, carrots, peaches, Stage 2 pasta dinner, pears, and vegetable turkey dinner
- has finally rolled over from tummy to back w/o any help...took him awhile to do this 'cause of his weight
- is standing pretty well while holding on to our hands and can take baby steps around the house...he LOVES doing this
- has pulled himself on to the ottoman (using a blanket that's on it), to stand up and he holds himself up and can stand for about 5-7 mins on his own then he falls on his big bubbly butt
- is starting to pull himself up (using us or his walker)while he's sitting down...he has managed to pull himself up on me w/o any help ONCE (happened yesterday) and OMG, I almost peed my pants
- slept for 5 hrs straight (the night he had his shots)
- can put himself to sleep w/o us coaxing him back to sleep...well this has happened only a few times, but we're very excited about it
NEW THINGS that happened in December:
- discovered his private parts and likes squeezing them! LOL
- liked to play "bababa" by putting his hand to mouth (kinda like what you would do when you pretend you're an Indian)
- learned how to tug at my shirt to get my attention (SOOO ADORABLE WHEN HE DOES THIS!)
- tried using the sippy cup for the 1st time (still doesn't know how to "sip" from it, but he knows how to hold the cup and can drink from it)
- tried apple juice and berry juice for the 1st time
- learned how to play PEEK-A-BOO!
I think that's about it...He is still babbling, smiling and laughing like always. His personality is definitely shining through now. He definitely has a mix of mine and Jeramy's temperament. But I can tell that Connor has a short temper, like mine. (UH OH) But hopefully, he'll grow out of it. Oh yeah, he has learned how to throw his arms up to let us know he wants to be carried. This a good way for him to communicate but can also be quite annoying when he wants to be carried all the time. Another neat thing he's been doing is looking back at us to check for approval. He gives us the look as if to say, "Just checking if you're still there" or "Hey, is it alright for me to do this?" or just simply saying, "Yo, look at me!"
Connor is so wonderful. We are incredibly thrilled about all the things he has accomplished these past few months. It's scary and exciting all at the same time. We keep hoping that he'll discover new things every day, but at the same time we are just nervous about the fact that he'll becoming mobile very soon. We kinda like the way it is now...where we can have him sit in one place and still be there when we turn around. Pretty soon, we'll be chasing him all over the place. Honestly though, I can't wait! Connor is so much fun now, how much more then?!
Well, Jeramy and I are doing well. His new schedule is really nice 'cause he has weekends off now...atleast until April. We are trying to make plans to travel to a few places while we have the opportunity to do so. We'll be heading down to San Clemente at the end of February to get new portraits done with my family. That should be fun!
February is a pretty busy month for us! We have our 1st wedding anniversary, my birthday and Valentine's! Poor Jeramy, he has to remember 3 events this month...haha. We haven't made any plans yet for our anniversary other than eating that frozen cake that's been sitting in our freezer for the last 11 months. Can we say YUCK?! LOL
Umm, what else is new? I'm still organizing the Mommy's group here in SLO county. I'm trying to make it so that we have something to do each week and it's been going OK so far. A lot of people flake out and totally understandable (since life is unpredictable when you've got kids), but it kinda bums me out when I drive 30 mins to be there only to find out half of the people showed up. Hopefully, we'll have better turn out rates for future meetups. Oh yeah, I'm also starting to sell some stuff on Ebay and Amazon to make some extra spending cash. I've already sold a bunch of stuff this past week so I'm really excited!!! I'm offering my services to anyone who wants to sell their stuff!!! I'm charging 30% of whatever the sales price is, so if you got stuff laying around your house that you no longer use or want...LET ME KNOW!!! If you're not too far away, I'll come pick it up. You can track everything online, so you can find out if your stuff is selling and if it does, how much $$$ you're making. Sorry about "soliciting" through this, but I'm trying to make some extra money here!
Anyways, enough about that. Back to our family...we are doing awesome. Life with Connor has been challenging in many ways but the rewards definitely far supercede everything else. We kinda know what we're doing now so things are much easier than they were in the beginning. Now, it's more an issue of parenting that it is anything else. Jeramy and I have a lot of issues to deal with in the future as far as how to raise Connor (and possibly other children) but like everything else in life, we'll deal with it.
Ok, I better get some sleep. I'm starting to get a headache...
Here is a list of NEW things Connor has done in January:
- started "rocking" while sitting down
- went to his 1st storytime at the Library...and he LOVED it!
- had his 1st cracker (well, it's called a Wagon Wheel)
- he's scooting backwards (or in circles) when he's on his tummy
- has tried the following foods: squash, carrots, peaches, Stage 2 pasta dinner, pears, and vegetable turkey dinner
- has finally rolled over from tummy to back w/o any help...took him awhile to do this 'cause of his weight
- is standing pretty well while holding on to our hands and can take baby steps around the house...he LOVES doing this
- has pulled himself on to the ottoman (using a blanket that's on it), to stand up and he holds himself up and can stand for about 5-7 mins on his own then he falls on his big bubbly butt
- is starting to pull himself up (using us or his walker)while he's sitting down...he has managed to pull himself up on me w/o any help ONCE (happened yesterday) and OMG, I almost peed my pants
- slept for 5 hrs straight (the night he had his shots)
- can put himself to sleep w/o us coaxing him back to sleep...well this has happened only a few times, but we're very excited about it
NEW THINGS that happened in December:
- discovered his private parts and likes squeezing them! LOL
- liked to play "bababa" by putting his hand to mouth (kinda like what you would do when you pretend you're an Indian)
- learned how to tug at my shirt to get my attention (SOOO ADORABLE WHEN HE DOES THIS!)
- tried using the sippy cup for the 1st time (still doesn't know how to "sip" from it, but he knows how to hold the cup and can drink from it)
- tried apple juice and berry juice for the 1st time
- learned how to play PEEK-A-BOO!
I think that's about it...He is still babbling, smiling and laughing like always. His personality is definitely shining through now. He definitely has a mix of mine and Jeramy's temperament. But I can tell that Connor has a short temper, like mine. (UH OH) But hopefully, he'll grow out of it. Oh yeah, he has learned how to throw his arms up to let us know he wants to be carried. This a good way for him to communicate but can also be quite annoying when he wants to be carried all the time. Another neat thing he's been doing is looking back at us to check for approval. He gives us the look as if to say, "Just checking if you're still there" or "Hey, is it alright for me to do this?" or just simply saying, "Yo, look at me!"
Connor is so wonderful. We are incredibly thrilled about all the things he has accomplished these past few months. It's scary and exciting all at the same time. We keep hoping that he'll discover new things every day, but at the same time we are just nervous about the fact that he'll becoming mobile very soon. We kinda like the way it is now...where we can have him sit in one place and still be there when we turn around. Pretty soon, we'll be chasing him all over the place. Honestly though, I can't wait! Connor is so much fun now, how much more then?!
Well, Jeramy and I are doing well. His new schedule is really nice 'cause he has weekends off now...atleast until April. We are trying to make plans to travel to a few places while we have the opportunity to do so. We'll be heading down to San Clemente at the end of February to get new portraits done with my family. That should be fun!
February is a pretty busy month for us! We have our 1st wedding anniversary, my birthday and Valentine's! Poor Jeramy, he has to remember 3 events this month...haha. We haven't made any plans yet for our anniversary other than eating that frozen cake that's been sitting in our freezer for the last 11 months. Can we say YUCK?! LOL
Umm, what else is new? I'm still organizing the Mommy's group here in SLO county. I'm trying to make it so that we have something to do each week and it's been going OK so far. A lot of people flake out and totally understandable (since life is unpredictable when you've got kids), but it kinda bums me out when I drive 30 mins to be there only to find out half of the people showed up. Hopefully, we'll have better turn out rates for future meetups. Oh yeah, I'm also starting to sell some stuff on Ebay and Amazon to make some extra spending cash. I've already sold a bunch of stuff this past week so I'm really excited!!! I'm offering my services to anyone who wants to sell their stuff!!! I'm charging 30% of whatever the sales price is, so if you got stuff laying around your house that you no longer use or want...LET ME KNOW!!! If you're not too far away, I'll come pick it up. You can track everything online, so you can find out if your stuff is selling and if it does, how much $$$ you're making. Sorry about "soliciting" through this, but I'm trying to make some extra money here!
Anyways, enough about that. Back to our family...we are doing awesome. Life with Connor has been challenging in many ways but the rewards definitely far supercede everything else. We kinda know what we're doing now so things are much easier than they were in the beginning. Now, it's more an issue of parenting that it is anything else. Jeramy and I have a lot of issues to deal with in the future as far as how to raise Connor (and possibly other children) but like everything else in life, we'll deal with it.
Ok, I better get some sleep. I'm starting to get a headache...
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
6 month appt...
Connor had his 6 month appointment today. I'm surprised he only weighs 19 lbs 4 oz. I guess his weight is finally slowing down. He's measuring at 29 inches, so he's getting pretty tall too. The doctor says he's extremely healthy and that we are doing a good job taking care of him. :)
Poor baby had his shots today though. Like always, it didn't phase him at all until the last shot (only had 2 done today). He cried for a mere 2 seconds and was over it. A few hours after he got the shots, a fever started so I just gave him some Tylenol and he's a bit better. I can tell he's gonna be groggy all night though 'cause he's not himself.
Poor baby had his shots today though. Like always, it didn't phase him at all until the last shot (only had 2 done today). He cried for a mere 2 seconds and was over it. A few hours after he got the shots, a fever started so I just gave him some Tylenol and he's a bit better. I can tell he's gonna be groggy all night though 'cause he's not himself.
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