It has been quite some time since I've posted on my blog. With Myspace, Facebook, and the SLOCM site to browse through...why would I need a blog? Well 'cause I get bored with the other sites and need a place to lay out my REAL thoughts. I thought writing in a real journal would be better but then I would have to keep everyone up to date with what's happening in our lives and well, getting on the phone is almost impossible with 2 screaming kids in the background. Though I am quite impressed with myself as I actually sat down and talked to one of my sisters today for more than an hour. That is quite an accomplishment while a 4-yr old and 2-yr old are staring me down, jumping on me and tugging on my hair...
October has been a really tough month so far. We went on our 7-day Mexican Riviera cruise and I came home the sickest I've been in years. It was crazy. My poor hubby had to come home from vacation and take care of 3 kids. *sigh* But I must say how f'ing wonderful he was throughout the whole week. I love that man...
I haven't worked out in 2 weeks. It's the longest I've gone in the past few months without working out. I finally started feeling better a few days ago and just got back on track with my South Beach Diet and today was ruined 'cause of a cousin's bday dinner. I need more self-control. You can't ask me if I want brownies with ice cream! The answer is always gonna be a YES.
So yeah, I have been dealing with some anxiety this past week. Which is pretty ironic since here I am trying to help out a good friend with her anxiety and then bam...I start going through it myself. WTF. I don't think I've ever really had anxiety before. I couldn't sleep, I could barely eat, my tummy ached and was the most irritable person ever. How do people deal with that on a regular basis? I couldn't stand feeling that way for longer than 3 days. It was driving me nuts!
What was the anxiety about? Well, personal shit...what else? My life in general is GREAT, no drama for the most part. But certain people in my life stress me out and I don't really know how to deal with them. Then to make matters worse, I find out a good friend of mine has been mad for me for months for something I didn't really even know I did. Sounds like "The Hills"...except I don't get paid thousands of dollars for one show and my life is fo real. There's no "CUT!" to save me from my emotions.
Anyway, why the hell am I posting all this for all to see? 'Cause I don't feel like I can really talk to anyone (well other than my hubby who has no problem telling me what he really thinks). I have good friends but none I feel really close to right now. The feeling sucks. It feels like I'm surrounded by hundreds of people yet I feel so isolated at the same time. Is this what they call a mid-life crisis? Gosh I hope not, I'm only 31!
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